"Bottled Cooks"

So, you're a great cook, you watch masterchef, you can recite the names of Gordan Ramseys restaurants off by heart and you have a knife block. Yet I've seen you cooking, I've seen your brilliant culinary skills at work and I know where you get your secret recipes and blends of spices and family specialties from. You open a jar and pour it over meat, stir then serve. you are basically making what Mr Chicken Tonight thinks everyone should eat. I'm sure you add your own touches, like adding some prepackaged dried herb mixture to the meat, or sneaking a splash or Worcestershire sauce in, but, alas, i can't taste your special blends of herbs, over the special blend of salt, oil and preservatives in your dolmio chunky.

I'm not against using these prepackaged sauce mixes, just knowing that if thats what you call cooking, you are a disgrace, you have used no taste and you have not even tried. Don't tell me you'll "cook a special dinner" for me then use this shit. It's not going to impress me, I think they all taste the same anyhow. Put some tomato, coriander and chilli in a saucepan, heat it up and pour it over pasta. I'll be much more impressed, we'll both live longer and I won't be disappointed in what shit I've just ingested, plus it's easier, cheaper and gives you a chance to taste it and add to it, based on what you think it needs, provoking thought and making you feel like you put your heart into your food.

Keep an ear to the ground and a fist in the sky.

<3 Ranting Man